Thursday, August 31, 2006

Huzzah for Minnesota Renaissance! My lovely wife, Trixy and our two oldest children Shasta (18) and the Jman (17) are going to be regaled by troubadour, oohed by jugglers and aaahed by the king's royal court this weekend which will be our fifth outing at the renaissance festival in Shokopee Minnesota. It will be Jman's first time and Shastas second to this glorious event. Where else can you observe knights on horseback, women in clothes that cause their bosoms to defy gravity and listen to hundreds of people walk around in period regalia and speak in dreadfully bad English accents (not counting Madonna's bedroom)? It is a feast for all of the senses and just generally a good time. So folk's while im sitting down and having buxomy women serve me a fine dinner and ale(PBR, dont ask) and my wife once again busts me for my less than subtle glances at her ampleness, you have yourselves a rowdy and racous Labor Day Weekend and ill see you soon!

Cheers,

Chuggy

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

My God this guy is funny, maybe it just me.

Thoughts of the smelmooo

Monday, August 28, 2006

Okay what can i say, i think this dude is almost as dorky as i am. Gotta love the internet! per�ambu�lation

Interesting blog this one. Hokey but fun. Not sure what kind of herb this lady has discovered but... enjoy.

Tranquility

Friday, August 25, 2006

Smile of the Day

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

"Self love is not so vile a sin as self neglecting." - Henry V

Lily the autistic wonderdog is dead.

Sad to say and sadder to write this but our youngest dog, Lily, passed away yesterday afternoon, she was 3 years old. Of our two dogs (both Shih-Tzus), she was definitely the most spirited and adventerous. She was always getting into things and generally making a mess. It was not uncommon for her to gain entrance to the bathroom shared by our teenage girls and then see this long haired, sometimes disheveled little sprite proudly exit with a bloody maxi-pad that she had purloined from an unsecured waste bin. It was interesting to say the least to observe my wife and my daughters trying to retreive said item from a fleeing Lily destined to find refuge underneath our extremely heavy couch. It was like watching a mongoose deftly avoid the strikes of a group of cobras. Lily was not above diving head first in the toilet for a drink or round-house kicking the kitchen trash can for the prospect of a tasty treat. Indeed this intrepidacious canine just seemed to have a knack for trouble. I dont think she went looking for trouble, i just think that trouble always just knew where she would be. Some of her antics were so puzzling that it caused our autistic son Shaun to aptly declare, "that dog is autistic".

I can say that i never expected the passing of Lily to have such a profound affect on me as i never really had pets as a kid. I am sad about this as i have rarely felt before. I am sad for my wife, she was the closest to Lily. She would no doubt agree that Lily was her favorite. In personality and spirit, Lily was a match for her, a physical manifestation of my wife's inner self. The kids are doing ok with it, although they will miss her. We had a little funeral for her and buried her by a large rock in our back yard. She is survived by her sister Lizzy, who does seem to notice her absence. When she died, Lizzy laid down next to her and nuzzled her for a bit. When she passed, she had my wife holding her, and my daugter and my mother-in-law with her so she was not alone. Some may view it as just the death of a dog. To us it is the passing of a close family member that we will never forget.

Goodbye Lily

Friday, August 18, 2006

It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart - Everett (Oh Brother, Where Art Though?)

Good morning again! Just doing my usual morning ritual at work, waist the first hour and then decide to actually get something done. I was reading Kissy's blog www.foolishjabber.blogspot.com and her telling the story about here daughter calling flies "bastards" and remined me of a conversation with my son a few years back. Cobi, was seven years at the time with blonde wavy hair and the cutest lisp that just accented his cuteness. He turned to me and said,

Cobi; Daddy, what is a lesbian?

Chuggy; Why do you want to know?

Cobi; J-man was telling me about lesbians (J-man is our 14-year old, soon to be deceased son).

Chuggy; Well buddy, you tell me what you think a lesbian is.

Cobi; I think its a lady that likes cats.

Chuggy; You are absolutely right!



Thursday, August 17, 2006

Good morning worthy friends. Just a quick post and im off to actually having to work which basically involves dealing with pissed off people who have somehow gotten themselves involved in the criminal justice system. Not that i am complaining, i actually enjoy listening to a bunch of whiny-butts with no sense of accountability try to B.S. their way out of the cost of being an idiot. Like i always say, if there were no naughty, stupid, or socially retarded people in the world, i would be out of a job. I look at my interaction with these individuals as another benefit. I get free entertainment, get paid for it, and come up with all kinds of material to use to entertain my friends and family! Hopefully it will prove to be entertaining post material as well.

By the way, another blog ive been to, sounds like kissy is off to a good start. www.foolishjabber.blogspot.com.

So kids, stay healthy and have a crap load of fun today, okay?

Chuggy

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Greetings again fellow losers and persons of leisure! Just got back from the beautiful Lake of the Ozarks. The weather was nice and much fun was had. I and my traveling companions, all 6 of my kids went boating, swimming, jet-skiing and generally had our asses burnt off by the sun. You ever heard of the term sun-kissed? I have to tell you that ole Chuggy had full on sloppy tongue in mouth kissing with a little extra curricular activity below the belt with our great friend Solaris (hope you haven't eaten prior to placing that image in your head). After our adventure, we headed to Worlds of Fun, a very fun amusement park in Kansas City, I highly recommend it, here is the link.

www.worldsoffun.com

Anyway, had a great time, now im back to work where i can get some proper rest (government work, what can i say?). Hope all of you are having great summer vacations as well. I dont know about you but i am fully ready for school to start and get the rug-munchers back on a schedule. The nice thing about school lunches is that it is actually cheaper to have them eat at school than at home especially with 3 boys that are known for having a greater than robust appetite. Watching them eat is like watching hyenas attack a baby zebra, fascinating yet disturbing. I guess the redeeming quality is that they do ask to be excused from the table when they are finished.

Hope you all have a great day, see you in a few.

Chuggy

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Greetings all. I was browsing through the other blogs and found a site that i could fall in love with. I love the sites with angry women, this one did not fail to please. Click on the link below.

http://whyihatemyhusband.com


Enjoy!

Chuggy

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Hello again my friends. Just working through the day and looking forward to another off-duty job after that, why do i do this to myself, just greedy i guess. Been listening to the normal talk radio crap about Israel and the middle east with the Hezbolloahs (sounds like a flavor of ice cream). Thinking of these two entities fighting as they are reminds me of my neighbor kid named Colton. Nice kid Colton, 5 years old and a little on the energetic side but has a good heart. One day i was observing one of the other neighbor kids, from down the street, walking up and kicking our young friend and then running away. Colton, being a human being with nerve endings that register undisireable stimuli, didnt care for the sudden jab of pain. He chased the other kid down the street, tackled him and then put him in a very uncomfortable headlock. The local parents, including the parents of the other kid promptly separated them and told them to get along. Nothing was said about what caused the incident and the two were left on their own again.

A few moments later, the same kid came up and performed the same stunt but was met with a fury of wrestling moves that would have made Jesse Ventura proud. The screams from the other kid were a mix of a screech from a crow mixed in with a pack of young girls that won tickets to the next midnight showing of Harry Potter. Colton, in all his glory was suddenly able to put the pressure on his nemesis and once and for all end the torment that was placed on him by this little wretch of a kid. Once again the parents, in their glorious desire to end any perceived wrong doing broke them up and promptly barraged our young hero with unsung amounts of touchy feely crap, that it was obvious that he did not understand. All he knew is that this other kid is allowed to hurt him and he cannot defend himself. Everytime the other kid would scream out in protest for being held to account for his actions, adults (at least in size) would step in and allow the injustice to occur with no address to Colton's damages.

I see this current conflict in this same light. Two entities living in proximity are unable to get along for whatever reason. One entity is allowed to jab at the other with no apparent reprisal or redress from the parents (hello U.N.) and when Colton (Israel) is only seeking to defend itself from future attack and has some success and causes the other kid (Hezbollah) to cry out in pain, all of the parents in the neighborhood step in and mess up a situation and send mixed signals to both kids. Perhaps it is time to let the kids just have it out until one surrenders and decides that the current path is undesirable. But no, we all have to put our collective hands on it, muddy the water and even allow other kids (hello Iran & Jordan) to get involved. Perhaps it is time to let these two go at it and get it finished. Cease-fires are merely a means of allowing other parties a chance to get involved and make money on an already bad situation. The desire of these parties is not peace, its power and money. Im quite sure that France, Jordan, Iran are not the least bit interested in the well being of the Lebanese people. They are just against Israel, gee thats a shock. Cease-fires do not work, they never have, they merely prolong the suffering of the innocents that are in the theatre of war where the cease-fire is taking place. "Violence never solved anything" is a statement of the foolish who have no concept of reality because there nose is stuck so deep in their laptop in a fancy coffee house sucking on a grande latte (paging Dr. Freud) and hooking into the internet, where safe in their blanket of anonimity, they can have mindless debates over nothing with no one. Naked violence has settled more issues than any other means and most likely will continue to be so. Hate to say that to ya kids, but it is true.

You disagree? Good. You hate me now? Even better, it is a perfect place to start. So let the barrage of insults begin. Im ready and waiting.

Chuggy

Morning ladies and gents! Hoping all is going well for you! Im still working out the bugs in this blog and hopefully there will be some more exciting features in the future.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

SeeMeThink

SaveManny.com - When you beg for money on the Internet, you eat from its dumpster...

Greetings losers and techno whores, this is the maiden voyage of the bubble of perpetuality. Enter if you will, into a world of ignorance, inane ramblings and hopefully less than droll entertainment at its most mediocre. I am your host, Chuggy who will guide you into the twisting and gut wrenching world of a middle age chubby dude with nothing better to do than examine and tear apart the very world that he lives in. Some of you may get insulted, its okay. I am an equal opportunity jerk. I also hold insults to myself and my person in very high regard, as long as you are willing to accept a return barrage of the same. So without stemming the rose and gilding the lily. I welcome you to this blog.

Yours,

Chuggy